Of course I’d not be without my kids, but we all need a good old whinge every now and again.
I had to chuckle the other day when my friend – who’s pregnant with her first child – shared her infinite wisdom on how she wasn’t going to let her little darling get in the way of her current lifestyle.
Good luck with that mate.
It made me cringe because I too was once that smug pregnant woman, wittering on about how I’d never let my kids rule my life. Ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaa! How naive I was.
If you’re left with a human being that’s dependant on you for absolutely everything, it’s inevitable your lifestyle is going to change. Anyone that says any different is LYING.
It’s not all bad. Honestly it isn’t. But who wants to read about how wonderful someone else’s experience of parenthood is?
No, we’re all here for a good old cathartic whinge.
So here’s my trip down memory lane, and all those little things I used to enjoy about my childfree life.
From sleep to full on parenting mode in under 5-seconds thanks to a living, breathing, screaming alarm clock. Anything but peaceful. Cheers kids.
Eating dinner at a reasonable hour
No. 6pm is not the time adults should eat their dinner.
Finishing anything non-child related
You can guarantee your child will; wake stupidly early from their nap, soil their nappy or have a full on shit fit just when you’re getting in the flow of anything non-child related.
It’s like they can sense when you’ve switched off from parenting mode and want to punish you for daring to think of anything but them.
So, if it’s not child-related say goodbye to finishing ANYTHING. Hobbies, non CBeebies TV, reading and adult conversation are just simply not allowed when you have kids.
Just thinking about browsing the local shops with my kids in tow is enough to bring me out in a cold sweat.
Gone are the days of strolling through shops, randomly picking up things that caught my eye. Nope, such frivolity has been replaced with lists, lists and more lists, oh and shopping purely out of necessity.
Staying up all night
For anything other than feeding a baby.
It used to be daring and exciting pulling an all-nighter. Now it’s anything but.
Clubs, dancing, drinking have been replaced with screaming, feeding and burping. Every. Goddamn. Night. It’s a living NIGHTMARE.
Parenting is a relentless emotional shitstorm.
Joy, guilt, frustration, anger and sadness. Just some of the emotions I now feel on an almost HOURLY basis as a mum.
If it’s not enough to be on my own emotional rollercoaster I now have to deal with the emerging emotions of my tantruming toddler. It’s exhausting.
Getting anywhere quickly
Just watch Michael McIntyre’s – ‘People with no kids don’t know’ sketch, especially the leaving the house part.
Having time on my hands
Parenthood is the ultimate time thief. I could never have appreciated just how much of yourself and your time you have to give to raising kids.
If you’re not careful, every second of your life could be accounted for with just your kids.
Even when I do have time on my hands I’m worried I’m not using it wisely enough, not enjoying myself enough. FFS!
Just remind me again, why did I sign up to life with kids?
I’d love to hear what you miss about life before kids, and also what you love now you do have kids.