Before you arrived Sputnik, I had limited hands-on experience with babies. Although I had spent time with your Aunty and cousin when he was a wee Sprog, I hadn’t been behind the scenes of motherhood.
Because of this, I didn’t know what to expect from pregnancy, how to prepare for birth or have any clue as to what to do when you finally arrived!
It’s meant that I’ve focused solely on you and not worried (too much) about comparing you to your peers and their developmental milestones. I’ve trusted my instincts for the main part, and what you’ve been telling me.
The past 9 months have been incredibly challenging. Becoming a mother has changed me to my very core.
The immense responsibility, the incessant worrying, sleep deprivation, the sometimes tedious daily grind, working out a new me and the unwavering love I’ve felt.
It’s this love that makes it so hard sometime. If I didn’t love you with every ounce of my being, it would be a damn sight easier to raise you.
Love is what makes me step away when it sometimes gets a little too much. It’s what gets me through the continual sleepless nights, when I’ve only had a single digits hours worth of sleep for the last few days.
I was never really interested in other babies before you came along. I was the one who – when a baby was passed round – would think of any excuse to not hold the little one.
There’s no real explanation other than, I just wasn’t interested. Now it’s a different story, I can’t get enough of you.
When people hold you, all I want is to hold you in my own arms. I want to shout from the roof tops all of your achievements no matter how small and show the world how proud I am of you!
The few times when I’m apart, I feel like I’ve lost a limb. You’re a handful at times, but the best addition to my life, alongside your Dad.